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Sunday, January 31, 2010
celebrated ivan's birthday ytd. had alot of fun at ivan's house doing alot of stupid things :)






as much as i want to stay happy, i wasnt. went to visit my grandmother just now and the adults decided to let her go for operation because she's really in pain. i almost cried when i saw my grandmother just now and i kept telling myself not to cry not to cry not to cry. my grandmother was holding our hands when we're leaving. i couldnt talk to her cus i felt like crying everytime i tried talking to her. she might be going for operation in a few hours time. i really dont know how to describe this kind of feeling. if i can use my birthday wishes now, i want my grandmother to pull through this operation and celebrate cny with us.

i've got no mood for anything now. but i've got a presentation tmr and a interview on tues. how?

at this point of time, i dont need anybody except you.


11:59 PM

Saturday, January 30, 2010
so in the end me and shirley didnt manage to finish doing our report. i went to her house and stayed till 5am. met the rest of the grp members at 3pm in school to do the report ytd. decided to go kaisheng's house cus the sch's library closes at 9pm. we chiong proj till 6am. but in between we talked about ghost stories, slack here slack there, crap here crap there. 6am go home, bath, change clothes, go to sch again!

tired like dog. msa quiz was anyhow cus didnt manage to cheat. my gpa confirm drop but aiya, what to do! i know it's the last sem but i've really got no mood to work hard this sem. just dont let me fail any modules and i'll be happy enough!

dinner at chomp chomp and k session just now!! love the food, the laughters and the people :)

move on is the keyword.


1:17 AM

Wednesday, January 27, 2010
i buang my 20% quiz ytd, shit man. now i really regret not studying for it lorrrrrr.

was supposed to get our report done just now. but then we ended up stalking people and bitching about people tsk. in the end we've got no mood to continue our report alrd. so we gonna meet up again later to finish our report and hopefully we'll be able to complete it!!


ok so im left with around 2 more weeks to go. 2 more quizzes, 1 interview and 1 last proj!! yaay :)


7:34 PM

Monday, January 25, 2010
last few days were so bad, so tired after all the bad things happening one after another. my emotions get affected very easily these few days. i'm not even excited about cny now.

but anyway, i've to thanks those who cared enough to sms/call/talk to me. i really, really, really appreciate alot even if it's just a simple 'cheer up'. and im glad i've got these people because at the end of the day, these are the people that's gonna be there for me. i'll cherish them more than ever now :)

this year is such a bad year, but i'll stay positive about it and i shall believe that things will turn out to be better. i know my grandmother will be strong enough to overcome all these and everything will be okay soon :)


1:15 AM

Wednesday, January 20, 2010
things are not getting any better. once again, i felt so helpless. sucks so much when you cant do anything. what is wrong seriously? can things get better just for once? fuck.

im such a loser now. because at this point of time, very very little things can make me cry like one idiot. so, thanks for that unnecessary comment. it might not mean a single shit to you, but sorry, that unnecessary comment affects me. even if you dont understand, can you even TRY to understand? or maybe i should blame myself because i should have kept everything to myself.

bye.


11:06 PM

Monday, January 18, 2010
my grandmother was hospitalised again. this time round, she fell down and her thigh bone cracked. the doc says she needs operation but her heart is too weak for it. if she goes for operation, she might not be able to pull through the operation. so now the only thing is to let her lie on the bed for like 3 - 6 months for her to recover. went to visit her and i can see that she's really damn pek chek for the fact that she wont be able to walk. she kept hitting the bed and all that i can do is to just stand there and listen to what she had to say. seeing her like that, i'll rather hope the one lying on the bed is me and not her.

i think my grandmother fell down partly cus of my auntie. it's her again, why is it always her. fucking bitch. is it really so difficult to be nice to your family members? what is wrong with these people? you'll get old one day too, and i really hope you get your retribution soon, fuck.

i didnt feel so helpless before. but these few months, i've realised how helpless and how useless i can get. like seriously, why do all the bad things happen one after another?

thanks for being there, it really helps.


1:20 AM

Friday, January 15, 2010
it's the first time after so long that i reached home this early on a friday! im damn freaking tired because i chiong proj till 1 am and then woke up at 7am to prepare for school. had napfa after school just now and yaaay, i managed to get gold for it! i almost gave up on it cus i thought im gonna buang my inclined pull ups.

finally it's over over over la! gonna be slightly more free now cus we've cleared quite alot of things! cant wait to shop for cny clothes alrd hehehehe.

ok really need to sleep soon bye!


10:55 PM

Wednesday, January 13, 2010
because after everything, you still dont know me well enough.


im craving for.....


1. frolick



2. haagen daaz's chocolate fondue


3. P.Osh's brownie


4. icecube's cookie monster

&&&&& BEANCURD! any kind souls?!!

so busy these few days. i've been rushing projects like almost every night. it doesnt make a much difference by not having any lesssons on mon and wed cus i'll still be doing projects anyway. but then again, 4 more weeks to go only!

i'll be your sunshine after the rain!


7:20 PM

Tuesday, January 12, 2010
almost fainted when i went for a run just now. and then when i was resting on my sofa at home, my nose suddenly bleed and blood flows like a tap. freaking scary and i was really damn scared. like, it really flows non-stop! and i swallow quite alot of blood, yucks.

i was really damn scared that i did research on nose bleed, maybe too heaty alrd (i hope so lol). drank aloooot of water after that!

anyway texas poker on saturday. i used laixing's money to play and it's damn exciting lorrrrr. really can feel your heart beating very fast when the call gets bigger and bigger.

many many things going on for the next 4 weeks. just 4 more weeks and i'll be done with all the projects and tests and reports and whatever! :D


12:28 AM

Thursday, January 07, 2010
sigh, so tired of certain things but what can i do leh........

wish that you're here now now now!

ok very tired alrd, need to sleep now goodnight!!


12:42 AM

Wednesday, January 06, 2010
my dad's finger is almost broken ytd and he had 6 stitches on his index finger. damn scary and my limbs totally went soft when i saw his finger (even though it's bandaged) and when he told me what happened. this is when i realised how freaking useless i am.

he was really in pain ytd's night and he didnt want to disturb my mum so he went to the living room and suffer the pain alone. hurts me to see him in pain and i was so helpless because i couldnt do anything except to stand beside him and ask him if he is okay. this is when i realised how freaking important my dad is to me. not that i dont know how important he is to me last time, just that after this, it made me realised he's really important. glad that he's so much better noww.

this is only like the sixth day of 2010 and i've alrd heard a few bad news. i shall just hope that the rest of the 360 days will be better!


8:55 PM

Sunday, January 03, 2010
oh man i know im a little late to talk about the new year but i didnt have the time to online these few days!

new year's eve: mahjong at sihao's house, picnic with the usuals, fly kite, mahjong at km's house and watched my first movie in 2010 with the usuals :D :D

first day of 2010: mahjong at carson's new house and his mum told his relatives that i can eat alot (omg!). love his little cousin, ming xuan!!!! dinner, selegie beancurd and then back to his house to play bang!

so in short, i enjoyed the last day of 2009 and the first day of 2010 with all the lovely people <3

i wont say 2009 is a bad year but i wont say it's a good year too. this is the year i got so much closer with people like shawn, matthew and especially sihao (even though he's my cousin hahaha and im glad we can htht about so many things!). even though they're really irritating by always saying all the mean things to me, i still love them for who they are! and of cus those close friends around me, you know who you are! :D

but then again, this is the year i got terrible setbacks like failing my tp, maybe it sounds no big deal to you but you dont know how much it really affects me, got really, really, really sad over ___. really glad for those people that were there for me especially carson, shirley and peixian. I can still remember how badly I cried in front of carson. this is so gonna be the first and last time i'll do it again man.

i hope 2010 is going to be a better year (like duh, who would want it to be a bad year lol). but aiyaa i still wanna say, 2010 will a be better year :D


11:59 PM