Just like a fool. An ultimate one.
Can't believe that I've been slacking ever since my exams ended. I've been wanting to pack my room but only managed to clear some of it. Ok, I'm gonna stop procrastinating and start packing my room like real soon!!
Reminder to self: Need to conquer the I monster!! The greatest enemy is myself! I can do this better :)
Oh yessss, just when I was so bored and worried (ok I know I'm just paranoid, lol), it came at the right time!! Thank youuuu! :)
Alright, I'm gonna stop checking my phone so frequently. Need to sleep and please let me have a sweet dream!!
Wednesday, June 27, 2012
♥ 12:18 AM
Thursday, June 21, 2012
Just when everyone has slowly get over the fact that grandmother was gone, my er yi was gone too, just like that. It was really sudden and nobody was prepared for this. It's exactly 6 months..
My mum just talked to her on Friday and the next day, she's gone. Everyone was happily BBQ-ing on Friday and 2 days later, everyone met again, at the wake. So unbelievable huh. We've lost 2 dearly people in our life in just 6 months. It's not easy to be standing at the viewing hall and view everything once again. So ironic that we don't remember all the things that she's done for us when she's alive but all the flashbacks started flashing through our mind when we were sending her off her last journey.
It's really sad when the words/actions couldn't be delivered to the recipient simply because it's too late. Never wait until it's too late. Life is just way too unpredictable.
Everyone says she's gone to be with my ahma. I hope they're really good in another world. Goodbye 二姨.
My mum just talked to her on Friday and the next day, she's gone. Everyone was happily BBQ-ing on Friday and 2 days later, everyone met again, at the wake. So unbelievable huh. We've lost 2 dearly people in our life in just 6 months. It's not easy to be standing at the viewing hall and view everything once again. So ironic that we don't remember all the things that she's done for us when she's alive but all the flashbacks started flashing through our mind when we were sending her off her last journey.
It's really sad when the words/actions couldn't be delivered to the recipient simply because it's too late. Never wait until it's too late. Life is just way too unpredictable.
Everyone says she's gone to be with my ahma. I hope they're really good in another world. Goodbye 二姨.
♥ 11:41 PM
Saturday, June 16, 2012
Is this part and parcel of life? Or is it just me not trying hard enough? Sometimes, it's so difficult to practice what you preach. Afterall, action > words.
At the end of the day, I'm not doing any better. Not at all..
At the end of the day, I'm not doing any better. Not at all..
♥ 1:34 AM
Wednesday, June 13, 2012
The hormones inside me are having a huge fight, they're screwing my emotions! My tears just rolled down just by reading some stuffs and watching some videos. A little crazy I know... Haha.
Hate to admit but sometimes, I can get a little insecure about things. It's pretty frustrating especially when I can't find a reason to it! It's like... I know this won't happen, but I'm still feeling panicky.
"We constantly feel threatened even if our external surroundings impose no danger to our survival. It’s the mind’s habitual tendency to fixate on everything that “can” go wrong that causes most of our insecurities."
But then again, I think I'm coping with it pretty well as compared to last time! I guess everybody has got their own insecurities at some point of their life.
"It’s impossible to convince anyone to not feel insecure, how can you ever guarantee that their life will be perfect? Insecurity is created because our future is uncertain and that’s a fact – life is uncertain 100%. There are no guarantees. So you have every reason to feel terribly insecure."
So I supposed it's okay to feel insecure. Probably it's because of the uncertainties that I have recently but it's okay, I'll never ever let them get the best of me!
"Embrace insecurity totally. Of course it’s easier said than done but this is the only way out of insecurity. You will feel secure once you are completely “okay” with the uncertainty of life. Then your mind will not hold you hostage with thoughts of insecurity."
Okay, so let's embrace insecurity totally!!!
GOODNIGHT :)
Hate to admit but sometimes, I can get a little insecure about things. It's pretty frustrating especially when I can't find a reason to it! It's like... I know this won't happen, but I'm still feeling panicky.
"We constantly feel threatened even if our external surroundings impose no danger to our survival. It’s the mind’s habitual tendency to fixate on everything that “can” go wrong that causes most of our insecurities."
But then again, I think I'm coping with it pretty well as compared to last time! I guess everybody has got their own insecurities at some point of their life.
"It’s impossible to convince anyone to not feel insecure, how can you ever guarantee that their life will be perfect? Insecurity is created because our future is uncertain and that’s a fact – life is uncertain 100%. There are no guarantees. So you have every reason to feel terribly insecure."
So I supposed it's okay to feel insecure. Probably it's because of the uncertainties that I have recently but it's okay, I'll never ever let them get the best of me!
"Embrace insecurity totally. Of course it’s easier said than done but this is the only way out of insecurity. You will feel secure once you are completely “okay” with the uncertainty of life. Then your mind will not hold you hostage with thoughts of insecurity."
Okay, so let's embrace insecurity totally!!!
GOODNIGHT :)
♥ 1:12 AM
Monday, June 11, 2012
突然...有种莫名的不安.
Everything is quite perfectly in place now except for a few things but that's okay! Finally all tests done and report is out. Can't express how relieved I felt. Made a pact to myself that if I clear this, I'm gonna exercise regularly and stay healthy! Can still remember the fear..
Typed, backspaced, typed, backspaced. Can't figure out how to put my thoughts into strings of words. Life is really full of uncertainties hor?
My body clock is damn screwed! Not that I don't wanna sleep early but I really can't sleep! Tsk... Ok I need to try to get myself to sleep now. Goooooooodnight!
Everything is quite perfectly in place now except for a few things but that's okay! Finally all tests done and report is out. Can't express how relieved I felt. Made a pact to myself that if I clear this, I'm gonna exercise regularly and stay healthy! Can still remember the fear..
Typed, backspaced, typed, backspaced. Can't figure out how to put my thoughts into strings of words. Life is really full of uncertainties hor?
My body clock is damn screwed! Not that I don't wanna sleep early but I really can't sleep! Tsk... Ok I need to try to get myself to sleep now. Goooooooodnight!
♥ 12:07 AM
HELLO
Xiaowei
19
27.02.90