my grandmother was hospitalised again. this time round, she fell down and her thigh bone cracked. the doc says she needs operation but her heart is too weak for it. if she goes for operation, she might not be able to pull through the operation. so now the only thing is to let her lie on the bed for like 3 - 6 months for her to recover. went to visit her and i can see that she's really damn pek chek for the fact that she wont be able to walk. she kept hitting the bed and all that i can do is to just stand there and listen to what she had to say. seeing her like that, i'll rather hope the one lying on the bed is me and not her.

i think my grandmother fell down partly cus of my auntie. it's her again, why is it always her. fucking bitch. is it really so difficult to be nice to your family members? what is wrong with these people? you'll get old one day too, and i really hope you get your retribution soon, fuck.

i didnt feel so helpless before. but these few months, i've realised how helpless and how useless i can get. like seriously, why do all the bad things happen one after another?

thanks for being there, it really helps.