It's my most favourite celebration of the year and yet it seems so wrong for me to get excited about x'mas right now. My grandmother got admitted into hospital. She's unconscious. She doesn't even respond to my mum or my aunts or uncles when they tried to call her. The doc said that her situation is quite bad now. And the doc told my uncle that if my grandmother can't make it, his suggestion was to let her go and not save her. Saving her is just gonna make her even more miserable, and the percentage of saving her is less than 1.

It's gonna be CNY in one month time. Since 3 years ago, my grandmother had been in and out of the hospital. It always happened when CNY is approaching. And it happened again.. I know this is life, there's nothing much I can do about it. I need to accept the fact that she's old and she might go anytime soon. She's been really strong, she pulled through so many times.. When she had to go for operation for her thigh and the doc says it's dangerous cus her heart is too weak for the operation, she pulled through. When she fell down the second time, she pulled through. When her blood vessels broke and had to get into ICU, she pulled through too. Is it very selfish of us to hope that she'll be able to pull through it this time round?

My heart feels so pain... There's really nothing we can do now. We can't turn back the time when she's still so healthy and all, can we?